I must start this post by saying that I love that I see more and more people excited about marriage. I see more and more of my friends getting married and embarking on the journey of becoming a wife or husband. In addition, I see a ton of people congratulating them and wishing them the best. It's a great feeling! However, what I don't necessarily like is when I see people encouraging them to have a baby immediately. If the couple decides to start working toward increasing their family immediately after marriage, that's great! But if the couple decides to wait a while, that's great too! It's their family and GOD who have the final say on their plan....not any human being.
When I first got married, I kept hearing, "Soooooo when's the baby coming?" I was so excited to know that many people could see me as an amazing mother. However, what troubled me was that the common misconception is that one must start having children as soon as they get married. Again, I will say: If a couple decides to have a baby as soon as they get married, that's great if they decide it, pray about it and GOD blesses them with a child. But it's very easy to get distracted by the opinions of others and start living for them. Unless their knowledge is biblical, you need to take everything simply as one's opinions.
The biggest thing to remember is that your life's story is written by the greatest author of all time: JESUS CHRIST! Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This scripture encourages us by letting us know that the Lord already has our plans in mind and knows exactly what he's called you to do. Be not deceived by the world. GOD makes NO mistakes. Therefore, he knows exactly what he's doing when he does it and why. Though we often get consumed with those questions and try to plan out our lives (I'm guilty!), he has a huge plan that extends far beyond what we could ever think or imagine. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive; what the Lord has in store for those who love Him." If you love GOD, there's great things in store for you!
If people tell you that your biological clock is ticking, you can tell that you know the author of time and his name is JESUS. You can't become so engrained in people's thoughts that you forsake your own feelings and thoughts. If you and your husband desire to have a baby 2, 3, 4 or even 10 years after marriage, it's between YOU and GOD. Your decision to start a family when you do is not for your family, friends or colleagues to decide. You must remember that only you and your spouse will be ultimately responsible for taking care of a child to which GOD has entrusted you both.
Remember that GOD is sovereign and supreme. Therefore, in the midst of you desiring to have a baby at a certain time in your marriage, GOD can do ANYTHING. Yes, even if you take contraceptives to prevent pregnancy. I personally know women who have become pregnant with child while taking contraceptives. I also know woman who have not been on any type of contraceptives, and yet they don't get pregnant for years. It's all up to the ultimate master of our fate and author of our soul- JESUS!
I also feel lead by the Holy Spirit to encourage any woman who desires to have children and feels inadequate because you were told that you cannot. I also want to encourage women who don't desire to have kids at all and have felt less than a woman for not having the desire to have children. You are NOT less of a woman if you don't have children due to either ability or desire. GOD is supreme! If you feel in your heart that GOD has told you that it's not his will for you to have children, that's a peace that you must keep within your heart. However, GOD has the final say so if you were told by a doctor or by someone that you may not be able to have children, I encourage you to seek the Lord about what his will is for your life regarding having children. What GOD has for you is for you! (Proverbs 16:9 ~ In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.)
Nuggets to remember:
1) GOD has the final say on your plan to have children, not any human being.
2) Don't get so consumed with trying to plan your life that you forget who authors your story: JESUS, and his plans are for you to prosper.
3) We are not restricted by time because we know the author of time. The biological clock "wisdom" does not take precedent over the smartest doctor I know: JESUS.
4) Don't be discouraged by lack of desire or ability. What GOD has for you is for you and HE has the final say.
God Bless!
~CW
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