As a single man, I thought I was a pretty unselfish guy. I
mean I would give my last to someone in need. I was always willing to serve
others without complaint; I jumped at the opportunities to give up my seat for
a lady or elder, I didn’t have a problem with sharing things with others. I
mean...I work in youth ministry! We all know that teens can and will ask for
EVERYTHING you have. It comes with the territory and I had no problem with it.
Well, let me tell you... when I got married I quickly realized how SELFISH I
really was.
I thought I was good until my wife began to ask for things
from me that I really didn’t want to give or share with her. I remember
watching a TV show, and in one scene the boyfriend was so happy and willing to
share his food and drink with his girl near the beginning of there relationship
and after a year of being together his girlfriend would try to take a bite of
his food or have a sip of his drink and he would go completely off!!! I thought
that was so funny at the time but I found myself doing the same exact thing. I found myself saying things like, “No, get your own.....you knew I was getting up to get
something to drink...you should have spoken up...closed mouths don’t get fed.” I
was a straight jerk and I couldn’t believe it.
The crazy part about this is: I didn’t haven’t a problem with
sharing with anyone that was not super close to me like my family or my wife.
However, when it came to my wife, I found myself struggling to give what was
mine. We’ve all heard the saying, “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is
yours,” and that’s a nice motto by which to live. But in my marriage, I quickly
realized that I leaned more towards the motto, “What’s mine is mine and I’ll
take yours too.” Now, all my married readers know that living life with this
type of mindset will not make for a healthy marriage at all. Not only was my
wife unhappy with me, but the Creator of marriage was also not too thrilled
either. I remember one morning during my quiet time I came across a passage of
scripture in Philippians 2 that states, “ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” I was quickly convicted. I asked God for
forgiveness in how I was treating my wife whom He blessed me with and I asked
my wife to forgive me as well.
By no means am I saying that I’ve perfected this character
flaw of mine, but I am working towards being more conscious of when that selfish
attitude arises. My wife is gracious with me through it all and I thank God for
her being patient with me. Before I got married I read a book by Gary Thomas
titled Sacred Marriage: What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than
make us happy? At the time I thought a sacred marriage was a pretty good concept, but now
that I’m married I'm starting to see how God uses situations, circumstances, and
especially people to help shape and mold you into the image of his Son. The
tool that’s used to shape us comes in different forms, and although it doesn’t feel good, we can be sure that it’s FOR our good.
So, the next time you have that last
piece of chicken or cake fellas, it might not be a bad idea to give it to your wife. She’ll appreciate it more than you
will ever know.
1) Count others as more significant than
yourselves.
2) Marriage is a tool used by GOD to help shape and mold you into the image of his Son.
3) Be encouraged, it’s all for your good.
God Bless!
~ KW
No comments:
Post a Comment