#14 ~ Love = Sacrifice

Typically when I preach on the topic of sacrifice, the church gets quiet, I don't get many "Amens" and  people shut down because it's not "preaching them happy." This response is typical because we as humans don't naturally jump at the thought of having to sacrifice. Sacrifice is defined as a loss or something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause. Well, newsflash dear heart....LOVE EQUALS SACRIFICE. 

When my husband and I were courting, my law school at the time hosted their Annual Barrister's Ball. It was a beautiful event that many people called "law school prom." The theme was also very attractive to me because it was "Great Gatsby/1930s" and I LOVE the fashion from that era. I think the ladies were gorgeous and classy, and the men were so debonair. As soon as I found out about the ball, I told Keith and he was ecstatic. He definitely wanted to come and be apart of the great occasion but he had a small dilemma. He had a work retreat the week of the ball and wasn't sure what time he would get back to be able to fly out to North Carolina that weekend. Ohhhhh noooo!!! I started thinking, "Lord, please allow him to come because this means so much to me....I don't want to go alone.....If it's in your will for me to go, please work this scheduling situation out for him." And guess what? Soon after the initial conversation about the ball, GOD worked it out! Keith had planned that he would leave his work retreat (where he literally was leading and working the entire time) and immediately get on a flight to come to NC. I was soooooo amazed at his willingness to sacrifice for me. It showed me his dedication to being there for what was important to me and his understanding of true love; it equals sacrifice. 

The ball was beautiful and a few months went by before he returned to North Carolina for the law banquet where....HE PROPOSED! I had no idea that he planned to propose at the banquet but it was PERFECT! We got married the next month in a small, intimate ceremony in Chicago and I never realized how quick the sacrifice of LOVE would come. 

I immediately felt the repercussions of not having my family in the same state anymore. Most of all, I missed my Mommy because we are so close and she wasn't a 20 minute drive away anymore. I also missed my church family because I loveeee my church (shout out to The Lord's Church of the Triangle pastored by Bishop Eric McDaniel and Pastor Subrenia McDaniel). It was such a big change! I went from being in a city where I knew how to get around, had family minutes away and had a church family that I had grown with over the years to a place where I didn't know street names or have a sense of direction, had my family several hours away and a new church family to which I had to get accustomed. It was a SACRIFICE! Now don't get me wrong, after being here for almost a year now, I am better with getting around (although I still sometimes need my good ol' GPS), I communicate with my family via FaceTime and Skype and travel home when I can, and I've grown to love my new Bethel House of Prayer church family. However, I can't tell you how many nights I cried missing my family, how many times I got discouraged driving around Chicago because I had gotten lost and how many times I wished I was in my home church where I knew how everything operated and desired to be in my comfort zone. That is the part of love that many people forget or forsake to think about when getting married or when they first get married. 

Even if your family is within driving distance, you will have to sacrifice your will and your wants. Every holiday won't necessarily with your family and that's okay. It may hurt and you will miss them, but you must realize that the same sacrifice you would want from your spouse...you have to give it. 

(My little cousin Hadrian and I at Sunday dinner held at my Grandma's)

Ladies, I know you love him and fellas, I know you love her. However, the real test of love comes not at your wedding ceremony when you see her and fall in love all over again. It also doesn't come when you have butterflies in your stomach as they enter a room. The test of real love comes when you are forced to give up something that means a lot to you (i.e. money, sleep, time, watching the game, going somewhere you really want to go, comfort, convenience, and etc.) for someone else's good and benefit. 

Jesus gives us the perfect example of sacrifice when he DIED for you and for me. (Romans 5:8 ~ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.) He gave up his life so that we could be free and live victoriously. That's love! Further, in Ephesians 5:2, the bible says, "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God." There are also many times in the Bible where those who followed GOD were asked to sacrifice to him to show their love. Abraham was willing to sacrifice his own son Isaac to demonstrate his love for GOD. Moses was willing to sacrifice his comfort zone of speaking in front of others to save the children of Israel because of his love and obedience to GOD. True love requires sacrifice. 

Quite frankly, sacrifice is a major component of marriage that is ALL in and through your journey and it's not always easy. Actually, most of the times it's very difficult because you're literally having to "die" to yourself and your desires and put someone else's BEFORE yours. However, I've learned that even though sacrifice doesn't always feel good, it's definitely FOR your good. It takes prayer and discipline, but it molds and shapes you. It makes you more mature and it helps you understand a small fragment of how JESUS must have felt when he died in his flesh for the greater good of humanity.

Nuggets to remember:

1) Sacrifice is defined as a loss or something you give up, usually for the sake of a better cause. 

2) The same sacrifice you would want from your spouse, you must be willing to give. Be fair dear heart. 

3) Jesus demonstrated the ultimate sacrifice when he gave up his life so that WE could have life more abundantly in him.

4) Sacrifice doesn't always feel good, but it will create a discipline and maturity in you like never before.

God Bless!

~CW