"Carpe Diem" is a phrase that means "Seize the day!" and I would have to say that this is KEY in marriage dear heart. You will get thrown with obstacles, trials, death in the family, exciting new births, car troubles, stress of life, challenges and allllll of the above! However, a key to happiness and joy in marriage is understanding how to live in the moment. Now, I understand that everyone is not spontaneous and likes to live on the edge and trust me...I get it! I am a planner by nature and love to plan my life, plan my day and plan each hour. However, sometimes you just need a moment. Not a moment planned. But just a moment. A moment to relax and a moment to release.
Life will still be there when you finish your moment, but don't forget to take it. Take a pause from life's norms whether it be the hussle and bussle of work tasks, tending to the kids or talking on the phone non-stop to one of your favorite home girls and enjoy the still...quiet...moment. It is often in these times of calm that we will hear and feel the tranquility of the Holy Spirit. It is also in these times that we are able to enjoy our spouse. Talk about how each of your day went. If it was stressful, take time to relax and unwind. Talk about your future together and your goals, dreams and vision for your family. Take a walk in the park to just gaze at your husband or wife's eyes while just enjoying their presence. Talk about the weather...talk about the news....whatever makes you both happy, do that and just enjoy the moment!
The best part about being around the person you love and desire to spend the rest of your life with is that sometimes you don't even have to talk. Just embrace them and enjoy the quietness of being in their arms. It's a beautiful feeling when you can just relax and release from the day or from the week. Don't think about the bills that are due or upcoming, how the car needs to be fixed or even what's on the agenda for the weekend. Just enjoy the moment!
Now trust me...I understand that for those of you with kids, you may be saying "Whew! Well my moment will probably only be for 5 seconds before I hear "Mommy!" or "Daddy!" And that's totally understandable. In the season of parenting, your children take 200% of your attention most of the time. However, don't forsake to make your moment with your spouse mandatory. Even if you have to schedule for 5 minutes of alone time each week...do it and cherish it!
My husband is sooooooooooo incredibly busy during the week with the nature of his job and being in full-time ministry. However, we have our night. Our night is Thursday and though we call it "date night," it really just allows us to have and cherish our moment. Sometimes we don't even go out to a restaurant or to an event, we just come home, relax, turn our phones on silent and enjoy being in each other's presence for the moment. The entire evening is dedicated to nothing more than spending time and investing in US. My job had a team outing on Thursday night and I declined and proudly stated that my reason was because Thursdays are dedicated to my husband. With the burdens of life that can sometimes weigh us down, we have to ensure that we protect our greatest investment: our marriage.
Though our date night is our scheduled time each week, I also often remind my husband to unwind, turn off work mode and enjoy the quiet moments. The nature of both of our jobs involves directing and leading, but each moment won't be that way. Each moment won't be planned or scheduled and it comes more than just on Thursday evening. If you have a moment in the morning while getting ready for work, or when cooking dinner, or when unwinding after work...that's perfect. Savor it! Cherish it! No matter how long! At times, your moment may simply be a long hug in the kitchen before preparing dinner or an embrace on the couch to talk about the day.
This leads me to an ending sidebar: just as you cherish your time and moments with your spouse, cherish your quiet time with the KING. Spending time at the feet of Jesus will change your entire day and set the course for your entire week. Thus, I always suggest to people to try to do it in the morning if possible before they start their day. This allows you to commune with Jesus before communing with anyone else. Cherish that time and savor the moment with the KING. He will comfort you and speak to your situation like only HE can. This discipline of spending quiet time will transpire into your marriage and lead to a discipline of making time, cherishing time and savoring precious moments. (Isaiah 26..9 ~ My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.)
Nuggets to remember:
1) Don't allow life to get you so bogged down that you forget your #1 investment: your marriage!
2) Don't be such a planner that you forget to savor and cherish the sometimes unplanned, unscheduled quiet, intimate moments with your spouse.
3) Your quiet time with the Lord is soooo essential and will change the course of your day. Cherish and savor those moments! It will help you to ensure you're doing the same regarding time with your spouse.
4) Don't feel pressured to always plan a "night out." Get creative and understand that sometimes the best moments are the quiet moments where you don't even need words...just love, affection and tranquility.
(Song of Sol. 6:3 ~ I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.)
~CW
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