I know you are probably wondering what Michael Jordan has to do with a marriage blog, but I will tell you that he has provided a lot of inspiration for the title he holds in basketball as the Greatest Of All Time. Now, I must make it clear that I am a proud Tarheel alum so I am definitely bias as I consider MJ what we call "Tarheel Family." However, statistics, sport reporters and the like all agree that MJ can go down as being one of the greatest basketball players of all time. When I thought about the 23 day mark, I immediately thought of MJ's famous jersey number and title.
I'm sure you're thinking "But what does that have to do with marriage?" Well....it's important to realize that you are your spouse are a TEAM and the only competition between you both should be trying to be the GREATEST HUSBAND or WIFE OF ALL TIME! If you're focused on loving each other on a daily basis to the best of your ability, you will find that your only competition is trying to love them more. When people ask me, "How's married life?" or "What's it like to be married?" I often want to respond with the honest truth so that they understand that marriage is WORK. Marriage is dying daily. No, you won't physically die. However, if you desire a Godly marriage, you are forced to die to your flesh on a daily basis in order to be more like Christ and mirror his love in your marriage. This often means not always saying exactly what you want to say (Blog Post" "Watch Your Words") but instead either choosing to be silent and pray, or to think first about what you are going to say. (James 1:19 ~ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.)
When I first got married, I put so much pressure on myself to be a perfect wife. I wanted to make sure dinner was cooked every night and that I never burned the food. I wanted the laundry to be washed, dried and folded every Friday, and I wanted everything I said and did to and for my husband to satisfy him. But one day God spoke to me a word of peace. His words hit me with reality: "You're not perfect, you never will be, and THAT'S...O....KAY!" I learned that I would never be a perfect wife and that I didn't have to be. I suddenly realized that my goal before marriage stayed the exact same after marriage: to be like CHRIST. Once you make CHRIST the center of your marriage and your relationships, you learn to love like CHRIST, talk like CHRIST and walk like CHRIST in your daily conversations, actions and deeds.
The greatest person to compare yourself to is CHRIST. He is truly the GREATEST OF ALL TIME because he died so that we may have life and paid the cost for our sins. Because of his great love, we don't have to compare ourselves with anyone. You don't have to be a perfect wife that you've created in your mind or a perfect husband. Your goal is simply to be the greatest wife or husband that YOU can be and to ensure that the only person you aim to be just like is JESUS.
When you feel like you may be putting more pressure on yourself than you should, you have to remember that your spouse chose YOU. Therefore, they love you for who you are: your looks, your personality, your smile, your style, etc. Don't try to be like someone else and don't you dare be intimidated by your spouse's ex or past girlfriends/boyfriends. They are their PAST and you are their FUTURE. Stay focused on increasing the love in your marriage and don't allow the enemy to get a foothold in by letting insecurity, fear and doubt run rampant in your mind. Fear is merely FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL so don't believe the lies. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14 ~ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.) Not to mention, you are made in the image of CHRIST. Therefore, everything about you is mirrored by who HE is. (Genesis 1:27 ~ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.)
Never question whether you are enough or if you are what your spouse wants. They chose YOU and you are a masterpiece created by the greater author, who is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords- GOD. Your only competition is YOU and you are amazing how GOD made you. So work to be the greatest husband or wife of all time like only YOU can. And when you feel like comparing yourself, remember that the only mirror in front of you should reflect CHRIST and HIS image, HIS ways and HIS lifestyle.
Nuggets to remember:
1) Remember that you don't have to be a perfect spouse. You will never be perfect and that's okay!
2) Marriage is dying daily to yourself and becoming more and more like CHRIST.
3) The true G.O.A.T. is Jesus Christ and he's your only comparison!
4) You have no competition but yourself. Only you can be the best YOU!
God Bless!
~CW
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