#17 ~ It's ONE day!

From the time I was a little girl, I remember planning my entire wedding and honeymoon. I envisioned a tall, dark and handsome groom, a beautiful bridal party, beautiful weather with the birds chirping and a day of no stress and pain. The honeymoon in my mind was somewhere warm and relaxing near water and consisted of nothing more than rest, relaxation and fun in the sun. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who has envisioned her wedding for years. And fellas, although you may not have planned your wedding as a little boy, I'm sure you envisioned your ideal woman and wife. It's a beautiful thing to think about your future with that one special person that GOD designed to be your spouse. However, in the midst of planning my big wedding, I have noticed something very important that allows me to decrease my stress: It's ONE day!

Marriage is soooooo much more than a one-day ceremony where every detail matters and every moment counts. Don't get me wrong...I am THRILLED about our big wedding. I'm excited about celebrating our marriage with our family and friends. I'm excited to look like a Queen that day with my dress, veil and entire bridal get-up. However, since I am already married I have learned that the key to marriage is what you establish BEFORE the ceremony.

My husband and I were counseled by my spiritual father, Pastor Philip A. Mitchell, and received knowledge and nuggets that have sustained us during our hard times of marriage. The lessons we learned in our counseling will stay with us for the rest of our lives. We covered topics such as: sex in marriage and your expectations, managing finances, learning to compromise and etc. Each session was amazing and filled with transparency and wisdom. Due to the fact that my husband and I were in different states at the time, we did our counseling via Skype and Oovoo. We were determined to build a strong foundation for our marriage and understood the importance of receiving counsel.

Before you are able to become a lawyer, you must receive preparation and go to law school. Before you can operate on anyone as a doctor, you must go to medical school. Before you are able to style someone's hair in a professional setting, you must go to cosmetology school. All of these life ventures and goals require preparation and training before you are able to fully embrace tasks associated with each career. Why? Because who wants a lawyer who hasn't received the foundations of law? And do you want someone operating on you or your family member without the foundation of the body and how to do an operation? Absolutely not!

In the same regard, you can't expect to thrive and succeed in your marriage if you haven't received proper Godly, wise counsel prior to saying "I Do." It's vital and essential and means much more than the details of the pew bows, aisle runners and candelabras that will fill the ceremony venue. I'm not saying to neglect the details of your dream wedding, but don't do so at the cost of forgetting what's key: Invest in your marriage! Get wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 ~  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.)

My husband and I are soooo grateful for the teachings we received from our counseling and extend that same wisdom to others. My husband has officiated 2 weddings to date and has counseled each couple beforehand with the same curriculum we completed. Each couple has been forced to learn and/or think deeper about each other's love language, make decisions about who will manage the finances of their home, and discuss ways to compromise and make decisions in the home. All of these lessons include valuable nuggets that we pray will stay with these couples forever and ever because they are truly what hold your marriage together.

When you and your spouse come together, you are coming together as one with GOD at the center of your marriage. Therefore, you are coming together as a three-strand cord that will not be easily torn apart IF you keep CHRIST at the center. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." The bible also tells us in Mark 10:9, "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." This scripture is so powerful in that it means when GOD brings and joins you and your spouse together, NO ONE will be able to separate it unless you allow them to do so.

Keep your cord strong and centered around CHRIST! Steve Wonder sang, "We can't lose with GOD on our side..." and Hillsong similarly sang, "Jesus at the center of it all..." Make him the core and the glue of your marriage and you will find that it is stronger than you doing it on your own.

Nuggets to remember:
1) Don't allow stress to consume you. The wedding is ONE day! Your marriage is a lifetime.

2) Invest in your marriage by making counseling a priority. Sacrifice your time and take those nuggets and lessons to heart.

3) Remember that what GOD has joined together, no one can separate unless you allow them to do so.

4) A three strand cord is NOT easily broken. Keep CHRIST at the center and at the core of your marriage and you will succeed.

God Bless!
~CW