I was immediately convicted and realized that I had not won, but actually I had lost. I had failed the God-given test to use my greatest weapon: PRAYER. Most wives are told prior to marriage and even during marriage that you must take care of your husband by making his meals after work, cleaning the house, being intimate with him on a regular basis and making him comfortable at home in any way possible. Although all of these things are relevant and true, they mean NOTHING if you're not praying for your spouse. Fellas, you may think that you need to provide for your wife or future wife, take care of the children, mow the lawn, take care of the home by doing handy work, and protecting your family at all costs. And in the same way, though these things are great, they mean nothing with your prayers.
Prayer is the most powerful weapon that Christians have as we navigate through life because it is our direct line of communication to GOD. Matthew 21:22 says, And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Additionally, the Bible tells us about instances when the people of GOD were going through hard times and they found refuge in prayer. Therefore, in the midst of a storm, trial or argument, you don't need to fight with your negative words or actions. It won't help the situation, nor will it help your marriage. Your greatest weapon is to get out of doing what's best and feels best for you at that moment and think maturely. At that moment, you are both offended and upset. Therefore, fueling the fire won't do anything but cause it to spread. Take a moment...cool off and in the midst of the cool off, PRAY!
As men and women who live in this world, we face a lot on a daily basis from work duties bogging us down, our boss and their demands seeming unattainable, and school work piling up with each day to being concerned about the bills, making sure the children are not driving you crazy, and keeping your house in order. Along with all of these things, you still have to maintain your spiritual wellness by making sure you have your whole armor of GOD on you to fight against the enemy's devices, ensure that you get your quiet time with the Lord in the morning, and try to get your mind submerged in the Word of GOD and worship on your way to work. Whewww!! It's A LOT! So the key is to make sure you are praying for your spouse. They have to endure a lot during the day and what better way to help them than to pray for them to the ONE person who can help them through it all: JESUS CHRIST!
Additionally, the beauty of it all is that the Lord will never put more on you than you can bear. He knows every plan for you and has already orchestrated how each day will begin and end. So when we're navigating through life and feeling overwhelmed, he will give us exactly what we need to survive and to thrive. Rest in that thought and rest in him. (Psalm 107:28-30 ~ Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven.)
The war that we endure on a daily basis is not physical, emotional or even mental. The wars that we endure are spiritual battles, thus requiring us to use spiritual weapons. The bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:4, "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds." We must grab to hold of this powerful Word!! This scripture tells us that our weapons are not carnal, but spiritual and mighty. Our weapons have the power to pull strongholds down and defeat the enemy! That means you have the greatest weapon of all to overcome the enemy's tactics, devices and attacks: PRAYER. You have the ability to speak directly to GOD about your problems and ask him to help you endure and to ask him to mold you and shape you to be right in his sight.
During our times of test, we have to stop thinking in the mindset of "Lord, get me out of this" and change our thinking instead to "Lord, what are you trying to get out of ME?" This will allow us to turn our eyes and focus to the fixer of our faith. Additionally, changing our perspective will help us pray differently. We will pray for our spouses to endure tests and trials, pray for the Lord to provide them with what they need, pray that the Lord would cover them, and most importantly, pray for their minds, hearts and emotions to be set in accordance to your will. After praying for our spouse, we must also pray that we ourselves would be in right standing with the Lord. It's not okay to pray, "Lord please FIX him/her because s/he's X, Y & Z! Get him/her Lord!" No dear heart. This can't be so. We must learn to pray with compassion and grace realizing that we need JESUS just as much as our spouse. Extend grace and pray! The bible tells us to pray without ceasing! 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." Don't allow the enemy to catch you off guard ready to be devoured. Be on guard and stay armed with your greatest weapon: PRAYER.
Nuggets to remember:
1) "Winning" an argument with your spouse is not winning. You are a team and therefore cannot prosper divided amongst each other.
2) Your greatest weapon in times of trouble or frustration is not to do what feels good to you. Be mature and see the bigger war going on.
3) As you pray for your spouse, pray for yourself as well so that you BOTH may be in right standing with the Lord. Extend grace to understand that you both need the help of JESUS.
4)The war we fight is not carnal, but spiritual. Therefore, you must use spiritual weapons, with the greatest one being prayer!
God Bless!
~CW
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